Ever since Patric told me about this blog I’ve been wondering, what can I write? Sure there have been many things I’ve seen that made me laugh, cry, or wonder about the fate of the humanity, during the years I have been playing WoW, but I never kept book or wrote down anything. Because new stuff comes up each day, so I thought, but suddenly things do look a little different. Many people are busy with hollidays-related activities and even more are bored to death waiting for the new expansion.

With this in mind I wasn’t very optimistic in regards of my writing, so I decided to take a look at the WoW realm forums, who knows, maybe I can dig up something. I didn’t even need to search more than the first page, and there it comes, a post from a player named, let’s say, Quaffle.

Title: Help Quaffle with his problems! Episode 1

Dear <server name>

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT BELIEVE I WAS SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

so last nite i came home from a nite out and i ordered some indian from the local (THE FOOD NOT THE NATIONALITY LOL). i ate most of it and fell asleep. the next day i got back from a day out with the boys, was a little drunk, sat down in front of the tv and proceeded to wolf down the rest of the curry that had been sitting there for 20 hours.

ANYWAY IM NOT FEELING SICK RITE NOW but will i get sick????? i cant believe i did this its so stupid lol. what if sum flies touched it????? what if they laid eggs on the food???? will i get infested with maggots/???? GROSS!!!!!! what if the fly picked up a flea containing a secondary parasitic cyst from a dog infected with tapeworm, landed on my food, laid eggs, dropped off the flea and then i ate the curry and the flea and the eggs and got food poisoning and maggots and tapeworm??????????

PLSSSSSSSSSSSSS HELP

urs gratefully,

Quaffle

****

I was at first tempted to leave it as it is with a “no comment” tag, but I can’t help quoting a few responses.

Some of them decissive:

“You will die.Try to speed up the process.”

Some of them mild and craving for more:

“…./soothe

you will be ok - the alcohol in your system will kill any bugs :o) x

… so this is episode 1 - when do we get episode 2 ”

Others, very technical:

“Iceblock and you’ll lose the debuff”.

And finally, some of them standing up for the weak:

“Well tbh honest I am more concerned about the poor fly/flea!

There it was looking for a nice and safe home to set up its fleafly family and it ends up on some below-par, alcohol imbued, sub-continent takeaway that you had be dribbling over just the night before!

I mean, thats no place to try and bring up flea kids is it?

I suggest someone set up a charity immediately in order to provide much needed medical aid and healthcare facilities for the poor insects that have found themselves in this terrible, hostile environment.

Members of their family will ofc be kept informed as the real cost of this tragedy becomes clear to the wider fly/flea community

With sympathy x ”

Now I must admit my sympathy is tempted to go with the flies as well - they might be annoying in the summer but they’re certainly easier to get rid of… Stay tuned for futher adventure from WoW planet, until then I’ll keep an eye on our hero, in case he survives.

Sunday morning. I’m happily doing SSO dailies. Boyfriend wakes up and logs in. “Good morning dear, how are you?” would be a normal thing to hear in this situation, right?

Wrong. What I get is a bit different: “You are in tonight’s raid, you MUST read about Rage Winterchill and Anetheron!”. Er, hi honey, ok.
(We did down him that night.)

A few days later, he’s coming over and his life won’t be complete if he doesn’t get cheese. I am less than excited to go out in the scary world, so I get an explanation of the way I should handle the situation:
“Go hunt for the cheese. Yes, outside. Your group goes to position ‘Market’ where it has to do a body pull on the mob ‘Feta’, then loot it, then bring it home.”
It worked, so I successfully looted it and it turned out to be very tasty.

You play for hours everyday and consider this to be the real life. You think you aggroed the policeman who pulled you and you laugh when the microwave dings. While your non-player friends don’t hear much about what you do outside the game, you can go on and talk for hours about your fights and mishaps in Azeroth. You are your toons and your life revolves around this game more than you would like to admit it.

This is the site for you.

Did you have the most incredible and obscene guild chat last night? We all did at some point, along with that geeky joke only World of Warcraft players can understand, the long talk about the virtues of a certain piece of gear and the drama over raid spots or loot. Ever felt like sharing it with others outside your guild or social circle? Because we did and started this site precisely for this.

This is a place for all the drama, gossip, funny stories or plain rants regarding our parallel world. You won’t find here any instance guides, gear stats or competent advice on how to increase your gold by doing this or that: there are plenty of sites for this already. We are creating this for fun and amusement. We publish our stories and, should you have something to say, your stories. We do it for fun and glory, and because we’re not allowed to play WoW at work.

Welcome to Stories of WoW!